That’s the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears. My brother wasn’t optimistic it could be done, but I didn’t take “wasn’t optimistic it could be done” for an answer. That was Tom Cruise, the actor. They said he was some kind of scientist. Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can’t just comb that out and reset it? Oh please. They didn’t sneak into this country to be your friends. I’ve got a nice hard cot with his name on it. You’d do that to your own brother? I said “cot.” She’s trying to prove that she’s closer to my children than I am, but the joke’s on her, because she doesn’t know how little I care for GOB.

No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook. What, so the guy we are meeting with can’t even grow his own hair? COME ON! I think the only time you cooked for us was the morning Rosa’s mom died. You gave us cereal in an ashtray. GENE!! [screams] Oh, yeah, the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn’t make that in 3 months. Come on!

Stack the chafing dishes outside by the mailbox. I’m on the job. She’s always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom’s awesome. Ann certainly has a great deal of Mass.