Jefferson Memorial
Jefferson Memorial
Philadelphia Skyline
Philadelphia Skyline
Manayunk Bridge
Manayunk Bridge
C&O Canal
C&O Canal
Yumi Ike Pond
Yumi Ike Pond
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Bloomsburg Keystone Sign
P Street
P Street
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Bloomsburg Fair
Georgetown University
Georgetown University
P Street, Night
P Street, Night

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Society ubermensch law superiority gains evil endless justice gains. God joy law suicide strong ascetic enlightenment of grandeur society. Eternal-return ascetic justice aversion passion prejudice spirit sexuality noble transvaluation virtues sexuality snare war. Deceptions christian...

The Bloomsburg Daily Archive

An archive of all the articles I wrote for The Bloomsburg Daily, a newspaper created in the aftermath of the flood that struck Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania in 2011.

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Drake Equation, the ash of stellar alchemy inconspicuous motes of rock and gas Orion’s sword light years? Consciousness tingling of the spine rogue venture, a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena from which...

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Hello? I’ve had a bit of a tumble. I mean, they have no respect for us up there! No respect whatsoever! We’re all just drudgeons to them! Shut up, do what I tell you, I’m not interested; these are just some of the things you’ll be hearing if you answer this ad. I’m an idiot and I dont care about anyone but myself. P.S. No dogs! It’s like they’re pally-wally with us when there’s a problem with their printer, but once it’s fixed… You know, it’s high tide. But we’re not on the coast. I’m closed for maintenance! Closed for maintenance? I’ve fallen to the communists! Well, they do have some strong arguments. It’s my term for my time of the month. Oh. What time of the month? The weekend?

Yes! If there were such a thing as a drudgeon, that is what we’d be to them. Yes! If there were such a thing as a drudgeon, that is what we’d be to them. Carrie, Moss! First scene in Carrie! Oh. Okay He’s had quite an evening. Someone stole his wheelchair. Did you see who it was? Red bearded man. I’ve got Aunt Irma visiting. Oh, do you not like Aunt Irma? I’ve got an aunt like that. Nicer ambulances, faster response times and better looking drivers mean they’re not just the Emergency Services, they’re your Emergency Services.

Yes! Yesterday’s jam. That is what we are to them!… Actually, that doesn’t work, as a thing, because, you know, jam lasts for ages. OK. Moss, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Smarties cereal. Huh, what you think I’m afraid of you? I’m not afraid of you. Hello, IT. Have you tried forcing an unexpected reboot? Oh really? Then why don’t you come down and make me then. No, no there you go, no there you go. I just heard it come on.

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An Open Letter to Dan Knorr, Mayor, and Citizens of Bloomsburg
Dan Knorr, Mayor, and Citizens of Bloomsburg, This afternoon I watched the videos of the tank deployment and tear gas use in Bloomsburg this past...
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Bloomsburg Middle School Student Wins Writing Contest
Madeline Polhill, a seventh-grade student at Bloomsburg Middle School, won a writing contest sponsored by Scholastic Scope Magazine and had her first line selected as...
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The Latest Buzz from BTE: In the Next Room, or The Vibrator Play
At the dawn of the age of electricity, Dr. Givings performs some experimental treatments. Dr. Givings’ wife, Catherine, will soon discover the “shocking” side-effects of her husband’s revolutionary gadget.
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GC Hartman Students Raise Money for School
G. C. Hartman Elementary School, a part of the Southern Columbia School District, held its first Hartman Hustle today. Students from kindergarten through fourth grade...
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Dodgeball Raises Money for Students in Need
"What's better than Dodgeball? It's the All-Star Sport of Gym Class!" Ben Eshelman laughs happily as he describes the go-to rainy-day sport of Phys-Ed teachers...
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Geffken Seeks Democratic Nomination for PA House
James Geffken, Berwick Area School District’s Director of Buildings and Grounds, announced recently that he will seek the Democratic Party nomination for State Representative in...
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Grandson of Mohandas Gandhi to Speak at BU
Activist, diversity speaker and spiritual leader Arun Gandhi will speak in Carver Hall of Bloomsburg University of Pennsylvania Wednesday, Feb. 15, at 7 p.m. Grandson...
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Render Unto Man
The PA House of Representatives passed H.R. 535, a resolution declaring 2012 the "Year of the Bible". Derek Gittler argues this misuse of Civil Government is an Affront to, and a Violation of, the Conscience of every Christian, Non-Christian, and Non-Theist alike.
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That’s the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears. My brother wasn’t optimistic it could be done, but I didn’t take “wasn’t optimistic it could be done” for an answer. That was Tom Cruise, the actor. They said he was some kind of scientist. Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can’t just comb that out and reset it? Oh please. They didn’t sneak into this country to be your friends. I’ve got a nice hard cot with his name on it. You’d do that to your own brother? I said “cot.” She’s trying to prove that she’s closer to my children than I am, but the joke’s on her, because she doesn’t know how little I care for GOB.

No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook. What, so the guy we are meeting with can’t even grow his own hair? COME ON! I think the only time you cooked for us was the morning Rosa’s mom died. You gave us cereal in an ashtray. GENE!! [screams] Oh, yeah, the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn’t make that in 3 months. Come on!

Stack the chafing dishes outside by the mailbox. I’m on the job. She’s always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom’s awesome. Ann certainly has a great deal of Mass.

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Fate protects fools, little children and ships named Enterprise. About four years. I got tired of hearing how young I looked. You did exactly what you had to do. You considered all your options, you tried every alternative and then you made the hard choice. But the probability of making a six is no greater than that of rolling a seven. You enjoyed that. Your shields were failing, sir. We have a saboteur aboard. Well, I’ll say this for him – he’s sure of himself.

I am your worst nightmare! Fear is the true enemy, the only enemy. Commander William Riker of the Starship Enterprise. The Enterprise computer system is controlled by three primary main processor cores, cross-linked with a redundant melacortz ramistat, fourteen kiloquad interface modules. Sure. You’d be surprised how far a hug goes with Geordi, or Worf. and attack the Romulans. Sorry, Data. Now, how the hell do we defeat an enemy that knows us better than we know ourselves? This should be interesting. Now we know what they mean by ‘advanced’ tactical training. I’ve had twelve years to think about it. And if I had it to do over again, I would have grabbed the phaser and pointed it at you instead of them. Well, that’s certainly good to know. You bet I’m agitated! I may be surrounded by insanity, but I am not insane. Talk about going nowhere fast. I guess it’s better to be lucky than good.

An Open Letter to Dan Knorr, Mayor, and Citizens of Bloomsburg

Dan Knorr, Mayor, and Citizens of Bloomsburg, This afternoon I watched the videos of the tank deployment and tear gas use in Bloomsburg this past weekend. Like the police presence in Boston and Watertown just days before, I most firmly assert and believe this is a shameful, excessive, dangerous, and …

Geffken Seeks Democratic Nomination for PA House

James Geffken, Berwick Area School District’s Director of Buildings and Grounds, announced recently that he will seek the Democratic Party nomination for State Representative in the 109th District. Mr. Geffken, 38, a Sugarloaf Township native, is a 1992 graduate of Benton Area School District and a former Peace Corps volunteer, …

Grandson of Mohandas Gandhi to Speak at BU

Activist, diversity speaker and spiritual leader Arun Gandhi will speak in Carver Hall of Bloomsburg University of Pennsylvania Wednesday, Feb. 15, at 7 p.m. Grandson of the legendary peace fighter and spiritual leader Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, Arun Gandhi will discuss his grandfather’s legacy and their kinship. Born in 1869, Mohandas …

Render Unto Man

The PA House of Representatives passed H.R. 535, a resolution declaring 2012 the “Year of the Bible”. Derek Gittler argues this misuse of Civil Government is an Affront to, and a Violation of, the Conscience of every Christian, Non-Christian, and Non-Theist alike.

Complete Transcript: Dan Knorr’s Speech Announcing Candidacy for PA Rep.

Good evening, everyone, and thank you so much for attending tonight. I have invited you all here – family, friends, colleagues, leaders of our community, and businesspeople – because I have a very special announcement. For the past six years, I have been given the opportunity to lead the Town …